Guy in Class

This is really embarrasing and I hope no one from my class reads this. I am too embarrased to post--hell no I'm not. There is a really cute guy in class and I know that he would never in a million years guess that I think so. He's so attractive and has these really great ideas. He doesn't wear a wedding ring so I don't know if he's married. I don't wear a wedding ring and I'm married. But he's the type I would love to go on vacation with. I could just imagine us in a beautiful location surrounded by water and trees and the sun with a lofty bungalow and relaxing furnishings. I wish I could describe him to you but I don't want any of my classmates--including him to know. But I just had to let you know because he is so darn cute! And now I'm about to try and cram all my reading into a couple of hours so I can see him tonight.

Retraction

I do apologize for the last post. I am a little upset about my birthday but I have changed my mind about not hosting my own party on Friday. Now I am looking at catering and menus at several of my favorite spots here in Chicago. I plan on treating everyone or covering more than half of everyone's bill. It's going to cost me more than $400 though. But that's ok because I am only turning 30 once. What made me change my mind? A nice young man that just received his master's degree asked my father on Sunday if I was still having my party. See I invited him and told him that I would give him the details on Sunday but because I was in a funk hole from what transpired between me and my husband on Saturday I didn't go anywhere on Sunday until it was dark outside--and that was a total waste of my time. But now that he asked and my friend's dear brother said that he would be there (I hope he can still make it) I have decided to be a hostess. I plan to be a gracious one. Even though this will not be true I plan to come to my party looking very happy and fresh, calm and pleasant as if I'd just had the best birthday sex of my life with that special someone. Ok I have these Microsoft Plus dancers on my monitor and at first it was cool to see them dancing to my music but now they are irritating the hell out of me. It's a couple doing the salsa or tango or whatever this is. Then there is this girl doing hip hop which is even more irritating. But I plan to download Scooby Doo and that should be better. Ok but now I plan to stop ranting and not rant any more until ten years from now when I'm about to turn forty. I am holding up my right hand. "I LorettaDN do solemnly swear that from today Monday September 19, 2005 I will neither rant nor complain about my 30th birthday sucking as of 8:25 in the morning no matter how much anyone or anything pisses me off. I will be pleasant, gracious, and act like I've just had the best sex I've ever had until September 19, 2015 should I be alive and should there still be an earth though I believe the rapture probably would have taken place by then because after all the antichrist is on earth now and hopefully I will not be here when the Tribulation begins." That's my pledge. Update: I do still hope a building falls on my husband but I want to be the one to push it on him. He actually thought that I would come back over after what happened on Saturday. I know I didn't go into details but he punked me and humiliated me. So of course I don't trust him, he could have been setting a trap for me or setting me up for something. But I must depart because once again it is Monday and I have class. I have not read the book I was supposed to have and I have an assignment due. Ooooooo I have to post another thread because I have to tell you something about class.

Misery

We'll start a factory and make misery...

Put me out of my misery, I'll do it for you why don't you do it for me

What ever happened to Soul Assylum anyway? My friend Jamie used to say that they were a radio friendly Alternative band that also happened to be good. So it was alright for us to listen to them as was Blind Mellon. But normally I wouldn't like something so darn cheesy.

Why misery? you might ask. Those of you who know me well who've been paying attention over the past decade or so will remember that I am always miserable around my birthday. Some years I have had no reason to be. My friends and I used to have birthday weeks and we would celebrate for the entire week :)! Jennifer was the ringleader. One year she made sure I had a nice cake and dinner at this Chinese spot called Cho Sun's. Now that was cool. My ex-fiance gave me a surprise party that someone leaked then told me they were kidding so I kinda knew about it. He had me fooled though for a while. Anyways he had my friend Elyssa bake a cake with whipped cream and strawberries on the side. There was champagne and I'm not sure but I think I ended up at the bar that night. Why am I miserable?
Jennifer isn't here and my ex definitely isn't here. So I am without birthday plans. Now I know on a previous post I invited everyone to my birthday celebration but I've canceled it and the other ones I'd planned. Why? Because I am so f------ tired of planning my own celebrations. This s--- is getting old just like I am. I had to plan my own f------ baby shower and nobody bothered to attend my wedding. Kenesha and Phil have an excuse. They were out of the country. Everyone had the same notice as me and my husband because I didn't know I was getting married that Sunday until that Saturday myself. But I digress.
See I am turning 30 so this is a big one. Otherwise I wouldn't much care. Last year all I wanted to do was sit at home and spend time with my new baby and his big brother. I was just glad to have my health, I was glad that I was married, and I was glad that my husband and I had a roof over our heads. But now that I'm sans the husband (it's for good this time really folks--I've experienced a new emotion after he punked me, humiliated me in front of lots of people, and called the police on me last night), I just don't feel motivated to go out. Besides my mom has complained about keeping the babies.

This is what I envisioned: Thursday September 22, 2005 drinks and appetizers at the Raw Bar and either Exedus II or the Wild Hare, Friday September 23, 2005 my birthday tapas at Cafe Babareeba then Gameworks (Alternative music plays on Fridays) Saturday September 24, 2005 I have an exam in my Colonial Latin America class clubbing at Le Passage or travel with my husband and the babies. Sunday September 25, 2005 more travel.

But now I think I'm going to sit in the house and hope that everyone forgets to wish me a happy birthday. I hope no one reads this and I hope a building falls on top of my husband causing me to be an instant widow so I don't have to file for a divorce.

I'm Sorry

Well guys. I've made some improvements around here. I added word verification for people to post comments. That's because I've gotten some strange comments. One of them is telling me to try this new diet if I'm having trouble losing weight. Well I've actually been wearing my size 6 jeans lately so I think I'm doing ok on my own. The next commenter tried to get me to immigrate to Canada. I'm actually considering that. Well let me explain that some of the men on my short baby daddy list can just make their donation in a paper cup. I don't need to be physical with some of them ewwwwwwwwww b/c 50 cent looks like a gorilla to me I don't care how buff he is. Anyways I also changed the time so that it agrees with Chicago time. The only problem is that all the times on my previous posts are screwed up but from here on out the correct time that we're all posting will be listed.
Ttfn
Ta ta for now

Update: I figured out that all the times that are listed are approximately 10 hours ahead of the time of the actual posts. I might do a project one day and correct them all (this is the only one with the correct date and time now).

The next guy who takes me to SW Michigan to some antique stores, drives me by the winery, and takes me to one of the restaurants is my next baby daddy no questions asked. Ok time is running out so post your comments now b/c the next guy to comment is it. Unless it's the other guy from Outkast. I can't stand him and I don't care how much money he makes; he just irritates me.

My Baby Daddy

Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Terrence Howard is so fine that my sister has even taken notice. I already put my mother on notice that that's going to be my next baby daddy (if I'm not pregnant now--told you you hear it here first). Ok he's really not THAT attractive. He has pretty light eyes but I don't really like the way his head is shaped or his hair. And I don't really find facial hair attractive though I'm sure some of you will disagree with this. He's older. Ok I can't see myself cavorting with anyone over 36. Guys too old and guys too young both get on my nerves almost equally but haven't you noticed how grown up and buff some of the 15 year olds are looking this season. Ok before the feds come after me I'll stop talking about that.

Is anyone else relieved that summer 2005 has almost come to an end. Phew! I think I've finally gotten my mind back and the cold weather should help considerably with that. But this is about the time of year I like to get pregnant. I feel like getting all cuddly and close and eating comfort foods. I need to remove the battery from my biological clock. I need to take a sledgehammer and smash that clock, alarm and all. I held my first cousin's little baby girl who's a little younger than my youngest. Awwwwwwww she is so sweet and cuddly... but let me stop myself right there. My other first cousin's wife tried so hard to have a girl and ended up with about 6 boys.

Ok but I still have a short list of baby daddies. Of course for these baby daddies I will need your assistance in setting up surveillance so that in court I get my child support. Terrence Howard, Tiger Woods, R. Kelly, Snoop Dog, Diddy, Kanye West, Common, The Game, Andre Benjamin, 50 cent, L L (Cool J), Russell Simmons, James Brown ( I do not discriminate because of age, religion, race, handicap or creed), Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey (sp?), Colin Farrell, Hugh Grant, Jude Law, Ben Affleck (a drunk just like my husband), oh, my husband, Tyler Perry, Bob from Sesame Street, the UPS man, and two of the guys in my financial aid office.

And this is the short list.

Crawlin

Crawling in my skin, these wounds they will not heal

Linkin Park is another great band that fits right in though they weren't popular in the '90s.
As much as I love Gilmore Girls I'm still offended that Lorelai asked Rory what she would do if she got a college roommate that listened to/liked Linkin Park. Rory said that she'd get another roommate. So I'm trying to figure out what's cool and what' s not Gilmore Girls style. That show is so darn quirky that I'm surprised that I like it. But I suppose Rory reminds me a lot of me though we have/had absolutely nothing in common. I guess the whole race to get into an Ivy League school thing was something that we have in common. But hey it's just a tv show. I really feel akin to Rory now though that she's taking the semester off from Yale.

Anyway, there is absolutely no reason for people to get upset with me if they don't hear from me. Just check the blog. How many freakin' times can I tell them to just check the blog. I might be going through something and like I've told you guys, you hear it here first. But I keep sending emails telling people when things are updated here and they're still back on the post from June when I hid in the bushes and frightened my husband. It's Christina's birthday. Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to hide on my birthday. At first celebrating a milestone seemed like a good idea but now I'm feeling old. I am wise enough to realize that I'm not old though. My great aunt was born in 1909 for heaven's sake. Let me get to THAT milestone and then call me old. It's just that guys seem to be getting younger and younger. I mean there used to be a time when I could watch a baseball game and wish that I were a grown woman and able to land one of the players. Now they're all too young and somehow I've caught up with Gred Maddux and he's as old as dirt. But you know they whole baseball groupie thing disgusts me and turned me off from ever really wanting a baseball player. I mean these girls are more disgusting than rock star groupies. Oh but I digress. Yes I'm going to be the big 3-0 in just a few short weeks and I won't be telling anyone my age. I sense a hint of maturity though because going to the movies for a first date just doesn't have the same appeal it did ten years ago but like I said the guys are getting younger and younger.

What about a nice twilight walk on the sand while the waves lap up on the shore or a candlelight picnic? Or what about an enchanted evening dining at a candlelit table at the tapas restaurant? How's about a nice long drive to SW Michigan (it's only about 45minutes when there's no traffic) to the restaurant/winery for a quick dinner and wine tasting and visiting antique stores and farmer's markets? I swear there is nothing a man under 33 can do for me right now and I'm not talking about sex thank you very much. My husband and I have done all of these things but we never made it to the winery/restaurant ( I want to go to Tabor Hill) because we didn't have the funds and we never stopped at the antique store. The picnic wasn't by candlelight but that's quite alright.
I would even go to Gameworks. On Fridays I hear they're playing Alternative music, which is cool. I haven't been able to go because I've only been pregnant for the last 2-3 years straight. Please accept my apologies guys but I do not feel up to instructing our youth on how to properly date.

Please

I am asking you all to please bear with me. I have gotten out of my bed and it is now 1:29 AM according to the computer and 1:25 according to the VCR on Sunday September 04, 2005. I was in my bed with my earphones on listening to Stabbing Westward's "Waking Up Beside You" and it is on repeat. Showtime at the Apollo is on the muted television. The babies are asleep and I can't go back to sleep. I have been having an allergic reaction to something or maybe I'm dying from some disease but my eyes have been swelling and I've been itching. But the reason I got out of bed is to wonder why in the hell I let Brian get away. I mean it has only been ten years since I've seen him but what the **** was I thinking. I mean I was just wondering if he'd heard this song and if he likes/liked this song. He was so cool (in a way). He went to NYU but he had to leave. He was totally into Alternative music particularly Depeche Mode but like me he was into Depeche Mode and any other good Alternative Music. See as I've said before that's the thing that brought people together in the '90s, Alternative music. It didn't matter where you were from and in all the cities/towns the way in which the songs were played was different but we all still knew the same songs. We all knew the same bands. We had MTV with 120 minutes. Now that Q101 is on shuffle I've been hearing some songs that I haven't heard for ten years. This weekend is a summer countdown and the top 300 songs of the summer are being played. They don't have to have anything to do with the summer or anything but everyone voted on what songs they like to do whatever to during the summer. Blister in the Sun is number one.
I've digressed so far from what I intended to write but here goes nothing. Brian understood me and I understood him. He asked me as I was reading Lestat if it was turning me on. We had so much in common. He was tall. He was good looking. But he had a girlfriend and I respected that. At that time I wouldn't hit on a guy who had a girlfriend. You see I was the virginalist virgin of virgins, I was more naive if that were possible, and I didn't know what the **** I was doing as if that weren't obvious. I know that he's never going to read this or know how I feel or that we can never/will never be together but I just want to know how the heck I let him get away. I did try to call him once but whoever I talked to at his home made such a to do that he was out with his GIRLFRIEND that I didn't call back and the girl who wrote his address in my book wrote it so awfully that I couldn't read it. I think I'll do a search for him and see what comes up. I bet he's on myspace. Everyone is on myspace including me but I like it here better. I know that my friends are like---- "Brian"? When did you ever have a thing for Brian? Who? Well I did share this with one friend at the time, Tasha. But she's not reading this blog and I haven't spoken to her for over a year. But Brian if you are reading this give me a call--ok you don't have the number but post a reply or something and ...